Abby Sunderland

"The least of learning is done in the classrooms."   ~Thomas Merton~

"Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence"    ~Henrik Tikkanen~

My oldest daughter, now 25, was born with a passion for horses.  I swear her first words were, "Where's Doc?.  (Doc was a horse that lived across the street).  At a very early age she took riding lessons and then began to "show" in 4H.  She did things like Western Pleasure and Showmanship where you either led the horse by a halter or approached speeds barely beyond a slow trot along the rail of the arena.  The horse she rode was blind, but he was also slow.  Showing in 4H was safe.  And to tell you the truth, it was boring beyond words. 

I remember exactly where I was standing the day she came up to me and said, "Dad, I want to run barrels."  My adams apple made it all the way to the back of my throat as I mustered my most supportive face.  "You do know that barrel racing is fast, right?", I asked.  That was as dumb question.  Of course she knew barrel racing meant going fast.  That was entirely the point.  It turns out showing horses in 4H was as boring as watching and she felt the need for speed.  I didn't exactly try to talk her out of her latest need for adventure, but I didn't exactly encourage it either.

Shortly thereafter, she was atop one of the fastest and most seasoned barrel horses in the area.  (I remember where I was standing the day I wrote that check also!)  He was a powerful animal with trophy after trophy to his credit for winning speed events.  In my estimation, he was clearly too much horse for such a small girl.  He was also exactly what she needed to learn and compete in speed events.  I watched for a full season while this young girl, wearing a helmet, was taken on ride after ride by a horse she couldn't yet handle.  I also spent an entire season no longer bored, but terrified!  It was so hard to watch this 90 pound girl strapped to a 1000 pound horse. 

By the next season they were like one.  She "grew" into him and she won local event after local event and qualified for the National Little Britches Finals for a couple years.  Seeing her conquer her fear and rise to the challenge of riding that horse is one of he most gratifying chapters in my life.  I wouldn't change a thing.  It was worth every penny spent on horse, feed, gas, and entry fees.

Which brings me, of course, to Ms. Abby Sunderland.  Abby is the 16 year old young woman who recently attempted to sail around the world solo.  Prior to her departure, the event drew a great deal of press.  But her departure didn't invite an ounce the attention  her "failure" to complete the mission did.  Somewhere in the Indian Ocean, Abby was met with 30-50 foot swells and near-hurricane force winds.  After being repeatedly tipped on her side and rolled under water, the mast of her vessel broke and she sent out a distress beacon.  She had lost contact with her folks via her satellite phone and no one knew for sure if she was alive.  A search plane made contact with Abby and determined she was "safe" and a French fishing vessel, which was closest to her location, was sent to pick her up.  At this writing, that rescue should be complete. 

For the last two days, I have listened to various discussions regarding this young girl's attempt to sail around the world.  The comment I hear most often is, "Where were her parents?"  I've heard variables such as "What were her parents thinking?"  and "Who would allow their child to DO something like that?"  I'll tell you one person that would let her.  Me.  And apparently I am in a vast minority of folks that would do so.  In fact, besides Abby's parents, I may be the ONLY one.

But let's be clear about this and I think Abby's parents have made this point already.  This isn't just a 16 year old girl.  She is an accomplished seaman with advanced knowledge of sailing and navigating and survival.  The Sunderlands didn't just throw their kid out into the ocean in a rubber raft.  They coached her and trained her and most importantly............they supported her in pursuit of her passion. 

It does raise a multitude of questions doesn't it?  Would I let my younger daughter walk a tightrope over the Royal Gorge?  No.  Would I let her get behind the wheel of an Indy Car?  Of course not.  She's 13.  Would I let her set sail around the world on her own?  Not on your life!  She's never even been on a sailing vessel.  Her dream is to move to New York City and dance at Julliard.  I ask you.  Do you think New York City is any less dangerous than the Indian Ocean?   I guess that's open for debate, but I can assure you this.  I will do everything in my power to support her in pursuit of her dream.........her passion.  Isn't that the greatest gift we can give our children?

Of course none of us out there would purposely put our children in harms way without a really good reason.  I think the Sunderlands had one.  I can only begin to imagine how they might have felt if Abby had died while at sea.  But I believe there is something that could have been much worse.  What if they'd refused to let a seasoned seaman like Abby fulfill her dream?  What if they'd said, "When you're an adult you can make your own decisions."?  Now let's take it one step further and assume that next month or next year or the year after that, Abby was killed in a car crash, her dream unfulfilled.  For me, that would be the greater tragedy.  There are things worse than dying.  And the longest life isn't necessarily the most fulfilling.

I, for one, applaud the courage of Abby Sunderland.  But even more than that, I offer a standing ovation to her parents for allowing her to pursue her dream.  It had to be excruciating to let her go.  This one had a happy ending and I can't say what they did would be best in every situation.  But I can say this.  If we're going to raise courageous kids that know how to do more than pass a math test, we have to consider not just their age, but their ability.

Sometimes you just gotta let 'em go.