Saturday, December 12, 2020

NO LITTERING

 

"We can tell much by what we have already willingly discarded along the pathway of discipleship. It is the only pathway where littering is permissible, even encouraged. In the early stages, the debris left behind includes the grosser sins of commission. Later debris differs; things begin to be discarded which have caused the misuse or underuse of our time and talent." ~ Neal A. Maxwell ~

 

In March of 1993, I began my career as a firefighter for a large metropolitan city. As a recruit class, one of our first assignments was to study the large volumes of Manuals of Procedure. As I recall, there were over a dozen three-ring binders stuffed with rules about what to do.....and what not to do. 

At some point, after being assigned to a station more than a year later, I finally mustered the nerve to ask an officer why there were so many rules, many of which seemed like common sense. His response was to the point: "For every rule in those books, whether they be about how to act or what to avoid, there has been a person along the line that acted in a way outside the common good of the department. So, we had to make a rule to spell it out for those to come."

And so it began. And as it turns out, there's little need for a rule unless there's a punishment in place to enforce it. Violate it once and you get an oral reprimand. Violate it twice, a written reprimand. A third time, time off or dismissal. And trust me when I tell you, there were those along the way who made the same "mistake" over and over again until they were no longer employed.

As it turns out, apparently humans living in a civilized society can't be trusted to do the "right" thing. The tricky part is determining precisely what exactly it is that's right or wrong. In simple terms, we can define it as those things that promote the common good. Those on the religious right would want you to believe those things are spelled out in the Bible. Ok, so that's not necessarily a bad place to start, but it also isn't the only place you'll find reference to living a life that's "right." Serving the common good needs to serve ALL those among the common, not just those of one belief set or another.

Which brings me to the sign at the top of the page. Why exactly do we need a reminder in the form of a street sign (which is nothing more than a narrowed-down version of a law) to remind people to do the right thing? It's simple......because many won't. Sure, MOST people will do what's best for the common good. But a few won't, and it's for them the rules are written.

Drive down any highway and you're barraged with signage and warnings, Stop. Yield, Speed Limit, Passing Zone, NO Passing Zone, dotted lines, solid lines, white lines, ad infinitum. And why, precisely, are all these signs necessary? They're necessary, because there are those among us who will drive in such a way that serves their own purpose. The data is indisputable, that driving 100 miles per hour, not wearing a seat belt, passing on a hill or curve, or blasting through an intersection are more dangerous than a "reasonable" speed, yielding at an intersection, etc. And most people will do that without being told. But, a few won't, and those few put us all at risk.

I think you get the picture without quoting law after law after rule after guideline. There are entire libraries full of books containing laws that were written because someone did something less than optimum for the common good. And look, I'm right there with you. It's insane that there are so many rules, and obviously they aren't all about what to do or not do. 

And that, of course, brings me to the recent hoopla about wearing a mask. By definition, we're in the middle a a global pandemic. We can debate all day long about whether Covid-19 is worse than the flu or whatever (it IS, by the way), but it doesn't change the fact that wearing a mask, social distancing, hand-washing, etc, HELP flatten the curve of a virus that has already killed over 270,000 americans alone. Is it foolproof? Good lord, no. But it helps. And we should all be willing to help. 

But, once again, there are those among the population who believe it's a hoax, or it's not that bad, or we should let nature take its course. (To be honest, some days I can completely get behind a Darwinian approach). And since there are some that won't, there are now some "rules" that state we all must. Why? Because an approach that helps the cause is for the common good. It isn't perfect. No law is. How many stories have you heard about someone who survived a car crash because they weren't wearing a seat belt? 

The bottom line is this. Each and every one of us should stand prepared to do what is best for the common good. Quarantine and isolation is grossly inconvenient, and only time will tell if it's part of the answer. But it's a part of the answer we know for now, and we need to be willing to do what is best for our neighbor. It's disheartening to me that we need so many laws and so many punishments in an attempt to enforce them. But until we can ALL be trusted to not murder someone, not rob someone, drive while intoxicated, not pass on a curve, not litter, or......wear a mask, then we'll have rules to, hopefully, minimize the infractions. Because that's what's good for us all.

Wear a mask when appropriate, social distance when appropriate, keep your speed down, and for God's sake....

No Littering!


Namaste,

Matt



Tuesday, July 28, 2020

A PUBLIC APOLOGY





“Proper apologies have three parts: 1) What I did was wrong. 2) I feel bad that I hurt you. 3) How do I make this better?” – Randy Pausch


I've always been better at expressing what I have to say with the written word. When I try speaking what's on my mind, the words come out jumbled and I repeat myself. I often miss the mark. So, for a start, this is my attempt at correcting some recent wrongs.
When a friend called me out on my recent state of mind, I tossed his opinion aside. When another friend mentioned my posts have been "edgy," I filed that away, as well. But when my daughter, whom I love and respect very much, called me out on how my confrontational attitude was outside my usual mantra and, in fact, hurtful, I had to dig way back to my days in Al Anon and examine my part. And I do, indeed, play a big part in my recent behavior. In fact, it's all mine to own.

Things have been strange in 2020, have they not? It became easy for me to get caught up in the hype about politics, Covid-19, masks, religion, and, well, everything. My opinion is important and it should be heard! (Add sarcasm).

But here's the thing. For quite some time, I've actually tried to live by a "Peace, Love, Joy, and Harmony" code. It isn't always easy, but it's a code that means everything to me. I've been living outside that code, and to those of you who have been hurt by my behavior, I humbly apologize.

My daughter put it beautifully. "If what you're truly preaching is tolerance and acceptance, then you'd better be able to model those behaviors throughout all experiences." Boom! That was a serious wake-up call, and I had it coming. My beliefs really aren't a secret. I believe in equal rights for all sexes, religions, races, creeds, and politics. I believe that freedom is difficult, but it truly means everyone has a right to their opinion, whether I agree with it or not. My job is not to sway your way of thinking. My job is to accept it, embrace it, and perhaps learn from it. It most definitely is NOT to ridicule you for it.

I'm passionate about my beliefs. But just because I believe it, it doesn't make it true....or right. It just makes it true and right for me. That's all that matters. 

All that said, an apology means little without an action to follow, so here goes:

1. I will scan my social media page for confrontational and hurtful material, and delete it. 
2. I will filter future postings through the "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" guideline.
3. When I see material that is contrary to my personal beliefs, I'll try better to understand.

What we all need is to come to a better understanding of each other. I may not currently understand why you like Trump, believe in a particular religion, or like beets. But I can at least be open to the possibility of seeing your point of view. I can't do that with a closed mind and steadfastly holding onto the position that my way is the right way. I'll do better. 

So, to my friends, I apologize if anything I've posted or said hurt you or made you uncomfortable. To my daughter, thank you for the courage to speak your mind and call me out on behavior outside of what I preach. You're a rock star and I love you.

Let's take a stab at a better understanding of each other. If we stick with it, I'll bet we find middle ground we can all live with. It's not easy, but we can do it. We have to, actually, or the hate will tear us apart.

Namaste,
Matt




Monday, January 20, 2020

A College Collage







"Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out."
 
~ Mark Twain ~
 
Just over 36 years ago, I crossed the stage at the University of Nebraska to receive my diploma: A Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. With only one exception, I remember almost nothing of the formulas and theories I learned about business. Seemingly, I went to college for nothing. But I didn't. I learned one priceless thing no one has ever been able to take from me. I learned how to "learn."
 
In increasing regularity, I see posts on social media addressing the value of careers like welding, plumbing, construction, electrical work, etc. "You don't need to go into debt and get a college degree to make a living,!" they scream. And I completely agree. These careers, jobs, and life-skills are beyond valuable in a civilized world. We need people who are willing to do these highly skilled, important jobs. They certainly don't require the enormous cost of "higher" education. But they should. Hear me out.

High school did nothing.......nothing, to prepare me for the world that waited for me outside the walls of my small town high school. Part of that was my fault. But the greater weight falls directly on the shoulders of our current school system. And, in almost every case, that isn't the teacher's or administrator's faults. It's a multi-dimensional issue that will likely not be solved in my lifetime. High School was an indoctrination and nothing more. 

College was different and this is why. The moment I set foot on the campus of an institution of higher learning, I was exposed to a plethora of differing world views. Different cultures. Different races. Different political, religious, and economic ideals. As I immersed myself in university, I was forced to hear, and at least consider, a multitude of ideas different than my own. I was forced, if you will, to finally ask the most important question of all, "Why?"

I can't speak for you, but the answer for me was almost always the same. Why was I a Methodist? Why did I have conservative political views? Why this? Why that? The answer? "Because that's what I've always been told." Or....."That's what I was taught." College afforded me the opportunity to face that question head-on at every turn. It taught me to read every newspaper article, watch every news channel, and listen to every preacher, politician, and teacher with a critical eye or ear. There was a bit of truth in everything; And a bit of untruth. I had to find the answers for myself. And so I did.

College changed my worldview. And that is why I believe everyone should have the opportunity to attend an institution of higher learning. Still want to pursue a career as an electrician? By all means, do that. Holy Mary, that career pays well. But see about changing your worldview first. 

"But everyone can't afford college!" you say. And I get it. I do. You'll have to take my word for me on this one. The cost of attending university is ridiculously expensive, but the investment is well worth the cost. And there are ways. There are hundreds of ways to fund college. Will it leave you in debt? Most likely. Will it change your life and the lives around you? That I can guarantee you.

You don't have to be an A student or a Rhodes Scholar. You'll get way more back than you spend. I do realize that it's becoming increasingly difficult to gain acceptance to many colleges. Not much you can do about that, except apply yourself more in high school. Please. I didn't even know how to tie my shoes in high school. By the time you realize how important college preparation is, it's too late.

So, here's my suggestion for an alternative. Travel. Visit other countries if you can. Learn about their history. Delve into their failures and successes. Visit other states. Check out historical landmarks. Or.....for the love of God, at least leave the town you were raised in long enough to hear different music. Is it going to be expensive? Of course it is. Is it worth it? Not only is it worth it, it's vital to our human existence.

Look, there isn't one single thing wrong with growing up and staying in the village/town/city where you were raised. In fact, in many cases I think it's noble. I know of a few people from where I went to high school that stuck around and now carry the torch for a variety of civic services that need done. I applaud them. I envy them, even. But of the ones I can think of, they all ventured off to examine their worldview before they returned. It's important.

So, I've rambled on about all that to say this. You have to ask yourself why. You a conservative? A liberal? Christian? Muslim? Trump supporter? Hate the thought of universal health care? Ok. I'll listen. But I'll only listen if you can honestly answer the question, "Why?" Because if you come at me with anything that resembles, "Because I've always believed that way," or, "My parents taught me this way or that," or even, "We've always done it this way or that," then I'm probably through listening.  Maybe your parents did teach you something and after careful examination it rung true with your spirit. That's awesome! But until you've done that, you're operating under a code of ignorance, and you can fix that.

It's important. As a species, we must examine each other's worldviews if we're ever going to have a prayer of finding common ground. It isn't just "us vs. them." It's all of us...together. And each and every person, city, state, country, and continent play a part in how the pieces of the puzzle all fall together. Be whatever or whoever you want to be, but find out for yourself what or who that is. You have to dig deeper. We all do.

Consider each and every belief you harbor, and ask yourself the question that needs asked about them all. 

Why?