“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
~ John 15:13 ~
I’ve been a firefighter for over 22 years now. How I became a fireman was an accident, really. It wasn’t something I dreamed of becoming while on tour at the local fire station when I was five years old. Circumstances and a little research led me to a career I’d never considered; one of public service. And although I was a bit older than many just getting started, it became a career I loved.
I joined the fire department about the time the movie, Backdraft, was popular at local theaters. I loved that movie. It was filled with high-stakes drama and excitement. I just couldn’t wait to be a part of the brother/sisterhood. I couldn’t wait to run into burning buildings, rescue small children, and save life after life after life. And before I go a step further, know that I am grateful for my career. I still love the camaraderie of life at the fire station. It’s been a wonderful career. But here’s the truth.
It’s not like that. Life as a firefighter is nothing like Backdraft, or Ladder 49, or Chicago Fire. Nothing.
So, here’s a question I’ve been asked many times throughout my career. “Does seeing all that tragedy wear on you after awhile? Do the blood and destruction and chaos get you down? Does it keep you up at night?”
The short answer is, “No. It doesn’t.”
If you will, imagine training a Navy Seal or Army Ranger for off-the-chart combat and then sending them to a day care every day to watch children. Consider their intense training, their skills, and the mindset they’ve acquired. Now send them to babysit. That’s closer to the real story about being a fireman.
So, no, the blood and guts and hot fires don’t keep me up at night. And as tragic as those events are for the victims, dealing with those things is what I’m trained for. It’s what firefighters do. Only a handful of the calls I’ve made (and there have been thousands!) ever even cross my consciousness. You deal with it and forget it. I wouldn’t recognize a picture of any person on which I’ve ever performed CPR. I couldn’t tell you a name or probably even a street address of a big fire. It’s a coping mechanism. We just do our job and go on.
But there are things that keep me up at night. There are things that eat at the core of almost every firefighter (I can’t speak for all of them). There ARE things that cause a very real phenomenon called “Burnout” and it’s even more prevalent amongst paramedics.
What wears on me is answering your call at 3 o’clock in the morning, after answering a dozen similar calls all day, because your child has had an earache for 3 weeks. It eats at me that you woke up not feeling well and called 911 so someone would just come check your blood pressure.
I get short of breath when I hear you say you’ve had a bad cold for a week, have taken no meds, seen no doctor, called no nurse, and now want a ride to an ER via ambulance.
My blood boils when I see the faint scratch on the side of a commuter bus and see a dozen hands go up, each claiming injury and wanting a ride to the hospital. And the same holds true for car accidents. Minor damage and major drama.
It saddens me that, after already having 4 children, you wait until the very last second of your current pregnancy to call 911 for a ride to Labor and Delivery because, “I’m in labor.” After 9 months to get ready, this is your plan. (Look, I know emergencies happen in pregnancy and waters break suddenly, etc. I’m talking about using an ambulance like a taxi.)
It angers me to no end that we waste money as a department and then freeze salaries when asked to make a budget cut. Meanwhile, we load up a $500,000 fire engine with four firefighters to go close your apartment gate, or unlock your car, or light the pilot on your furnace. You call 911 instead of a plumber, or electrician, or heating and air specialist.
The list goes on and on and on and on. People close enough to me to hear the stories about a typical 24 hour shift are appalled at the stories I tell about the city’s waste and the public’s abuse of the system.
I understand there are those that CAN’T do certain things and rely on assistance on many levels. I have no issue with that. But there are a very large number of people who WON’T because they know the fire department (or police or whoever) will take care of it.
And it angers me that cities don’t draw a deeper line in the sand about what we will and won’t do. Did you realize that easily 85% of every emergency call I make doesn’t even resemble an emergency? That’s your tax dollars at work. And keep in mind, the MOST dangerous thing I do is travel to and from an emergency, blowing through red lights and dodging traffic, just so I can tell you the battery on your smoke detector is low.
What 22 years as a fireman has done is make me more and more cynical about the society we’re becoming. It seems no one wants to do things for themselves. And although I realize MOST people do actually do things for themselves…..I just never get to meet those people.
The only reason I’m here is to serve the citizens. I just think the serving we do is a bit much. So next time you watch an exciting movie about firefighting, remember:
It’s not like that.
