Sunday, June 13, 2010

Abby Sunderland



"The least of learning is done in the classrooms."   ~Thomas Merton~

"Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence"    ~Henrik Tikkanen~

My oldest daughter, now 25, was born with a passion for horses.  I swear her first words were, "Where's Doc?.  (Doc was a horse that lived across the street).  At a very early age she took riding lessons and then began to "show" in 4H.  She did things like Western Pleasure and Showmanship where you either led the horse by a halter or approached speeds barely beyond a slow trot along the rail of the arena.  The horse she rode was blind, but he was also slow.  Showing in 4H was safe.  And to tell you the truth, it was boring beyond words. 

I remember exactly where I was standing the day she came up to me and said, "Dad, I want to run barrels."  My adams apple made it all the way to the back of my throat as I mustered my most supportive face.  "You do know that barrel racing is fast, right?", I asked.  That was as dumb question.  Of course she knew barrel racing meant going fast.  That was entirely the point.  It turns out showing horses in 4H was as boring as watching and she felt the need for speed.  I didn't exactly try to talk her out of her latest need for adventure, but I didn't exactly encourage it either.

Shortly thereafter, she was atop one of the fastest and most seasoned barrel horses in the area.  (I remember where I was standing the day I wrote that check also!)  He was a powerful animal with trophy after trophy to his credit for winning speed events.  In my estimation, he was clearly too much horse for such a small girl.  He was also exactly what she needed to learn and compete in speed events.  I watched for a full season while this young girl, wearing a helmet, was taken on ride after ride by a horse she couldn't yet handle.  I also spent an entire season no longer bored, but terrified!  It was so hard to watch this 90 pound girl strapped to a 1000 pound horse. 

By the next season they were like one.  She "grew" into him and she won local event after local event and qualified for the National Little Britches Finals for a couple years.  Seeing her conquer her fear and rise to the challenge of riding that horse is one of he most gratifying chapters in my life.  I wouldn't change a thing.  It was worth every penny spent on horse, feed, gas, and entry fees.

Which brings me, of course, to Ms. Abby Sunderland.  Abby is the 16 year old young woman who recently attempted to sail around the world solo.  Prior to her departure, the event drew a great deal of press.  But her departure didn't invite an ounce the attention  her "failure" to complete the mission did.  Somewhere in the Indian Ocean, Abby was met with 30-50 foot swells and near-hurricane force winds.  After being repeatedly tipped on her side and rolled under water, the mast of her vessel broke and she sent out a distress beacon.  She had lost contact with her folks via her satellite phone and no one knew for sure if she was alive.  A search plane made contact with Abby and determined she was "safe" and a French fishing vessel, which was closest to her location, was sent to pick her up.  At this writing, that rescue should be complete. 

For the last two days, I have listened to various discussions regarding this young girl's attempt to sail around the world.  The comment I hear most often is, "Where were her parents?"  I've heard variables such as "What were her parents thinking?"  and "Who would allow their child to DO something like that?"  I'll tell you one person that would let her.  Me.  And apparently I am in a vast minority of folks that would do so.  In fact, besides Abby's parents, I may be the ONLY one.

But let's be clear about this and I think Abby's parents have made this point already.  This isn't just a 16 year old girl.  She is an accomplished seaman with advanced knowledge of sailing and navigating and survival.  The Sunderlands didn't just throw their kid out into the ocean in a rubber raft.  They coached her and trained her and most importantly............they supported her in pursuit of her passion. 

It does raise a multitude of questions doesn't it?  Would I let my younger daughter walk a tightrope over the Royal Gorge?  No.  Would I let her get behind the wheel of an Indy Car?  Of course not.  She's 13.  Would I let her set sail around the world on her own?  Not on your life!  She's never even been on a sailing vessel.  Her dream is to move to New York City and dance at Julliard.  I ask you.  Do you think New York City is any less dangerous than the Indian Ocean?   I guess that's open for debate, but I can assure you this.  I will do everything in my power to support her in pursuit of her dream.........her passion.  Isn't that the greatest gift we can give our children?

Of course none of us out there would purposely put our children in harms way without a really good reason.  I think the Sunderlands had one.  I can only begin to imagine how they might have felt if Abby had died while at sea.  But I believe there is something that could have been much worse.  What if they'd refused to let a seasoned seaman like Abby fulfill her dream?  What if they'd said, "When you're an adult you can make your own decisions."?  Now let's take it one step further and assume that next month or next year or the year after that, Abby was killed in a car crash, her dream unfulfilled.  For me, that would be the greater tragedy.  There are things worse than dying.  And the longest life isn't necessarily the most fulfilling.

I, for one, applaud the courage of Abby Sunderland.  But even more than that, I offer a standing ovation to her parents for allowing her to pursue her dream.  It had to be excruciating to let her go.  This one had a happy ending and I can't say what they did would be best in every situation.  But I can say this.  If we're going to raise courageous kids that know how to do more than pass a math test, we have to consider not just their age, but their ability.

Sometimes you just gotta let 'em go.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Just Paint


“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.”

~George Bernard Shaw~

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

~Albert Einstein~

Last weekend I had the honor of watching my daughter's dance recital.  Although she was only able to participate in one number this year due to injury, I still loved watching this form of art.  For me, dance is the greatest form of self-expression.  I marvel at the talent.

After the recital, my daughter came to stay with me and was instantly drawn (no pun intended) to an easel and paints Linda had recently given me as a gift.  I asked her if she'd like to paint something and to my surprise she said, "Yes!" 

She sat down at the table, a full array of paints at her disposal, and began to ask questions about what she should draw.  Those questions were followed by such things as what kind of brush she should use, what color I felt like would go best here or there, etc.  It was a great bonding time and yet I could feel she felt some apprehension about trying a new craft.

"I'm not very good at drawing or painting," she said. 

"Oh really?  Says who?", I inquired.

"You know, Dad, the professionals!"

To which I quickly answered, "What do THEY know?  Just paint."

She became a little more comfortable playing with different colors and brushes and you know what?  She's pretty good!  She stopped being concerned about what others might think about her art and just painted.  She finished the weekend with three creations and I loved them all.  You can see two of them above.

I'll be the first to tell you I know absolutely nothing about "art".  In other words, I've never been formally "trained" or taken an art class.  But I can tell you this.  If I were to teach any form of art I would tell my students this.  Put away your books.  Banish any preconceived notion you have of what constitutes art.  Stop trying to imitate Picasso or Renoir or Monet.  Quit worrying about depth and shadows and lighting.  Take your brush in your hand, close your eyes, and just paint.  Hum while your painting.  Sing out loud.  It doesn't matter.  Just paint your heart.  I wish our school systems would catch on to that notion.

The closest thing I've ever had to formal training in regards to writing is English Literature 101.  I took it as an elective when I was a college Freshman.  I LOVED that class!  I don't know whether the words I pen are in the right order or follow some code or appeal to the masses.  I just write my heart.  I don't write for you.  I write for me.  And that's what makes it so very special.  My writing (as well as a sculpture I did which at present is in pieces because my welding is defective) is my gift to myself.  It's a way for the deepest part of me to live on in some way forever. 

I'm wondering.  Do you know why Stephen King is such a gifted writer?  I'll tell you why.  He's gifted because he allows himself to take his mind where most are afraid to go.  And then he puts it on paper.  Can you imagine the stuff this guy CAN'T print?  He's fearless.  Not everyone likes it, but I'll bet deep in the heart of Stephen King's soul, he doesn't care.  He writes his heart.

That's my appeal to you....my hope.....my plea.  If you have a passion, whether it be singing or dancing or painting or playing an instrument or designing clothes or writing the great American novel, ask yourself what's holding you back.  Stop being concerned about the "Greats" and what they did.  Who cares?  Devil wears Prada?  Who cares?  Create a clothing line with passion, from the heart, and you could make sun dresses from gunny sacks and you'd sell a million of them.

So do it will you?  There's a whole world out there starving for your creations.  Put down your books.  Stop studying.  Close your eyes...................Take a deep breath.....................See it?  Feel it?  Now.......

Just paint.