It's Time Again

“Defer no time, delays have serious ends.” ~ William Shakespeare ~

“We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.”  ~ Susan Taylor ~

Almost every year I've taken time to write some quip about reflecting on a new year.  This year, I thought I wouldn't.   "What's the point?", I pondered.  Every day is the beginning of a new year.  This date we've set arbitrarily to allow ourselves a new place to start is available every day.  So why wait?  Every morning we wake up is an opportunity to start a new day....a new month....a new year.....a new life.  Sure, we assign these arbitrary periods of time numbers so we can keep track, but make no mistake, time can't be harnessed by numbers.

There seems a common theme for me lately.  Ok, so there have been several, but this one tiny item has kept me up at night.  This question of time.  The common sentiment has been this and it has come from a plethera of the most loving and well-meaning sources:  "Time is your friend here."  or "Time will be your friend if you let it."  I think not.

I'm 50 years old if you're using the modern-day Gregorian calendar.  But that number is arbitrary.  Like love, time just "is".  This friend of mine, Time, is a relentless foe.  He doesn't stop for heartache or a bad day or even a good day for that matter.  You aren't allowed to wallow in the bad nor bask in the good.  Perhaps that in itself is a good thing.  Time doesn't listen when you say, "Hey!  Time out!  Hold on just a minute so we can talk."  It ignores your request and marches on....relentless....unfeeling.

And unlike anything I would remotely consider a friend, time sets limits and expectations.  You only have so much time.  There's a limit.  Only so much time to do whatever it is you have to do, whatever that is.  And it's secretive.  You're never sure just how much time you actually have.  I'm blessed to have had more time than many, but I also won't have as much as some.  My clock continues to tick toward the end, and yet thousands today have a clock that has just started.  Yet I fully realize, and not without some resentment toward Time, that today many clocks have simply run out.

Now you can certainly argue that BECAUSE of time, we must live in the moment...not dwell in the past.  Without Time, there would always BE enough "time" to do the things that need done, say the things that need said, right the things you've done wrong.  But that simply isn't the case.  Time requires that if there's something to be said, or someone to be loved, the moment is now.  "Don't let this moment pass," it says.  And yet because Time is a foxy foe, it asks us to wait.  "I'm your friend," it whispers.  "Trust me.  All good things come to those who wait." And so we wait for an end with no promise.

Please understand.  I am a huge proponent of living in the "now".  I am, admittedly, not a master in its practice, but I do my best not to live in the past and not project a future.  But as much as I'm "spirit" and thereby not bound by time, I am also human and thereby subject to the frailties of that existence.  How do you fool this foe?  You can't, obviously.  Time has no rules or conscience.  Like any annoying pest, I can only do my best to ignore it by living fully in the moment.  But Time has a loud "tick" and only the most enlightened learn to completely ignore it's relentless nagging.

A Tale of Two Cities begins, "It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times."  There is no best or worst.  There is only Time.  And Time marches on.  As much as I'd like to embrace Time as my friend, every fiber in my body sees it currently as only my nemesis.  Oh I'll wait to see what each new day brings.  I'll wait to see what life unfolds.  But I'll do my best to ignore this gnarling beast who gnaws at my ankles by living in the now.  Because let's face it, Time sets the rules.   And it sets the amount for each of us. 

Time:  The entire concept seems such a waste and yet, you don't dare waste any of it.  Do it now.