Rule 39

There's no such thing as coincidence."

 

~ Leroy Jethro Gibbs, NCIS ~

 

"Your equipment will never fail you. You might make a mistake, but your equipment will never fail."

 

~ Brent W. ~ 

 

 

Easily one of our favorite crime series is NCIS. Thanks to streaming networks like Netflix and Hulu, we've watched every single episode of NCIS, in order...twice. And while we've loved the cast changes along the way, we love the early days with Leroy Jethro Gibbs the most (and Tony and Ziva, of course). 

 

If you've watched even a fraction of NCIS episodes starring Mark Harmon as Gibbs, you know Gibbs has rules. He has a lot of rules and they're all numbered. In fact, even in more recent years the characters reference the numbered rules of their fearless former leader, Jethro Gibbs. The most famous of all the rules is Rule 39: "There's no such thing as coincidence." And man, has that little rule ever solved a myriad of cases. But for us, Rule 39 may have easily saved a friend from serious injury, or even death.

 

A couple years ago, we ventured south to a state where I once lived to celebrate an anniversary of a department where I once worked. It was a wonderful event with vendors, wine, dancing, and catching up with friends. In the midst of that event, we ran across a man I had worked with on several occasions. He's famous in that department for his rope and climbing skills. In fact, I believe he has over 80 years of combined experience in rope rescue, climbing, etc. He's climbed numerous mountains and walls, rescued countless people with his rope skills, and teaches what he preaches on a regular basis. He's a pro. He's an expert. In a rescue situation, there is no person I'd rather have rigging the gear that was going to hoist me to safety. 

 

I hadn't seen this man in years, and to say we were close friends would be a stretch, but we definitely shared a mutual warm respect and admiration. It was fun catching up. In the midst of all this catching up over a micro brew and the telling of a famous mountain-climbing story, my wife happened to mention she had always wanted to try repelling.  Our friend's eyes lit up as he said, "I believe I can make that happen for you." To make a fairly long story short, he gave us coordinates to a place to meet him the following day, and we did as instructed.

 

The following morning, Gina beaming with nervousness and excitement, we met our friend who began to offer Gina instructions about the harness, the rope, the various hardware, how she'd be perfectly safe, etc, etc. I myself have done a little repelling and was a trained rope technician, so I just nodded my head in agreement as our friend set the stage for Gina to fulfill a dream.

 

While going through the instructions, our friend told Gina, "You have nothing to fear from your equipment. I've been teaching this stuff for years and I tell everyone the exact same thing. People make mistakes, but your gear will never fail you...ever." And with that, while standing on the ground, he hooked the rigging to his rescue belt and fell back to demonstrate to Gina how secure the entire system was. It failed. His rescue belt, while not rated for repelling, is perfectly capable of withstanding plenty of weight and tension. As he landed on his back (remember, only from standing), we thought he was joking, but seeing the color drain from his face at the reality of what had just happened made it clear this was no joke.

 

Upon examination, we determined that the mechanism on his rescue belt where you secured a carabiner for hanging or descending or whatever, had come completely apart. Seemingly a manufacturing issue, although he'd been using the same belt for a long time. No harm. No foul. Right? Wrong.

 

On a regular basis, while doing training exercises, our friend used this belt and rigging to hang off of bridges or buildings while inspecting trainee's riggings and safety measures. Hanging....by a belt...off a bridge. A failure in that situation would have clearly caused debilitating injury and probably death. See where I'm going with Rule 39?

 

Discovering the failure of his belt while doing an on-ground demonstration most likely saved his life, because the next time he used it would have likely been at a much greater altitude. And why did it happen like this and not while hanging from a 6-story building? 

Okay, so to be fair you can chase this rabbit down the hole all the way to "because I was born," but let's reel it in a little. It happened this way because Gina and I decided to take a trip to a cool event to see some friends. It happened this way because we just happened to be at said event at a certain place and time to run in to this friend. It happened because we told a great story which prompted Gina to ask about repelling, which led to an invitation to get to repel at the hands of a true expert. It happened this way because of thousands of small decisions and events on both sides which led us to be at that one place where a man discovered his equipment failed...on the ground... not in the air.

I'm not saying it's because of us his life may have been saved. I'm saying these circumstances, which can be traced back as far as you'd like, likely did. But it gets better. How many more lives have been saved or injuries prevented because this highly experienced man learned something important that day? I'll bet the speech about equipment failure isn't part of the repertoire any longer, and I'll bet everyone (expert and trainee alike) all check their gear just one more time. And that check includes looking for cracks or flaws...things you take for granted.

Here's what we know and why this event was so important. Everything happens for a reason. Every single thing you do or think, every decision you make, hurls you toward something. And even the slightest change in plan, or a decision changed from Plan A to Plan B, changes the outcome. And the exciting part? We don't even know what that outcome might be. So really, don't overthink it. It's all happening randomly at a pace we can't comprehend, all leading to something that may be part of a plan. We can't be sure. But we can be sure about one thing.

Rule 39: There's no such thing as coincidence.

P.S. It should be noted that all equipment issues were resolved and Gina did get to repel that day...twice. It was a magical day full of dreams fulfilled and lessons learned.

 

 

The Table Has Turned

 

 

"A strong family has well-worn seats at the dinner table."

 

~Unknown~

 

"Sometimes, when you least expect it, tables turn and that scary feeling that has taken hold of you for so long somehow turns in to hope."

~David Archuleta~

 

 

Our beautiful mother, a staple in all our lives in one way or another, passed peacefully in to whatever is next on August 28, 2024. She was 91 years old. She'd been struggling for awhile, she was tired, and she was ready to be together with our dad. It was not unexpected. The immense feelings associated with the loss of the family matriarch, were indeed, unexpected.

Mom was loved by all, be they friend, family, or acquaintance. She always put other people first. In my opinion, sometimes to a fault and the last few months of seeing to all her medical requirements was eye-opening, puzzling...not something I recommend doing, yet it needed done. But this whole writing isn't about mom, exactly. You heard it all at her funeral or you've read the obituary. She was amazing. But this...this is about that table.

If you've ever been part of sorting things out with the death of a loved one, especially a parent, then you know, even when it's carefully planned, there is much to do. The funeral arrangements are the easy part. There are thousands of papers to look through, hundreds of items to donate, sell, or claim, wills enforced (with the help of an attorney) and the list goes on an on. Frankly, all the things that need done help to take your mind off the things you feel. And there are a million feels.

After every family member had laid claim to items they wanted in remembrance of our mother, we held an estate sale to move other items no one had room to store just for the sake of storing it. In other words, sometimes you just can't kick the can down the road to the next generation, who one day will have to go through your stuff. It's neither fair nor practical, and to quote several from the younger generation, "What are we going to do with that crap? We eat on paper plates." It's both sad and hilarious at the same time. Every generation is different.

I did pretty well throughout the sale, actually. I held it together as item after item that mom cherished went out the door for pennies on the dollar, off to a place to be cherished by someone else, or sold on eBay. As cold as it felt, it's just the way things are sometimes. As items disappeared from atop the table you see above, it finally hit. The last day of the sale I could hardly contain the tears (I didn't actually) as the realization that table was the anchor of our family my entire life came crashing down around me. 

For as long as I can remember, I've practiced a form of anthropomorphism. Cars, houses, animals, trees....have often taken on human characteristics for me (we're all made of energy, Bob) and this table began to talk in my brain. I could hardly let it go. The table seemed to share my sadness as it realized, after more than 60 years, it was going to a new home...a dark, non-child home and it felt as if we both were heartbroken.

Take a look at the pictures. The arms of the chairs are heavily worn from being pulled out and pushed in thousands upon thousands of times.  Every. Single. Important event at my childhood home happened around that table. The fine china was set for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I gagged on oyster stew for the first time one Christmas Eve at that table. There were birthday parties, family gatherings, discussions, Halloween Parties... hell, my dad who rarely laughed, laughed until he cried while sitting at that table while listening to a Justin Wilson LP. My parents played cards at that table, entertained friends at that table, and when I was 2 or 3 years old I napped under that table. That table was, inanimate though you may think, as much a part of our family as anyone breathing. 

Year after year after year after year, mom set things up for us to celebrate most everything around that table. And that table sat there silently and smiling, as we got up and moved to another room to open gifts, to do dishes, or watch TV. It held down the fort for long vacations and never complained as we grew older and moved away without even saying goodbye.  It even happily joined my parents as they moved to a smaller place in Lincoln where my mother continued to play cards and entertain friends around its warm embrace. 

As silly as it may seem to most, that table was a symbol of what it meant to be part of our family...of what it meant to be a Leatherwood. And now, that table is gone. And so is our mother, who went to join dad who moved on over 11 years ago. We have pictures and wonderful memories, but I never truly appreciated the importance of that table and chairs until it was going out the door for the last time. And yes, I said goodbye and thank you.

Life passes by in a wink and if things go according to plan, we all get a chance to carry on after grandparents and parents have died. It's our turn now, and I'll try harder to take notice of, not only the memories, but the things so important in helping us make those memories.

Tables turn and this one most certainly has.