Stella Awards

None of these are mine, but I just couldn't avoid passing them on. I don't even think comment is necessary. Start scratching. Matt

Stella Awards. It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.Here are the Stellas for the past year:

*SEVENTH PLACE* Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son. Start scratching!

* SIXTH PLACE * Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Scratch some more...

* FIFTH PLACE * Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are > > more.... Double hand scratching after this one..

*FOURTH PLACE* Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun 20 times! Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..

* THIRD PLACE * Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions? Only two more so ease up on the scratching...

*SECOND PLACE* Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000...oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure. Ok. Here we go!!

* FIRST PLACE * This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned Also not surprisingly, Mrs.. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid.... or are more members of Congress serving on juries these days?

A Little Perspective

The department that I work for is currently part of a nation-wide study to determine if chest compressions combined with a new device for administering rescue breathing improves the outcome of CPR. It specifically is looking to see if a higher percentage of people who actually stop breathing and lose a heartbeat eventually leave the hospital alive. We already know that the national "save" rate when someone is a CPR is somewhere between 2 and 4 percent. In other words.......usually.....dead is dead. We're trying to see if we can improve on that statistic.

Even though our record-keeping hasn't been so good, the data that HAS been collected indicates that our save rate is up a whopping 40 PERCENT using these new CPR methods. That's incredible isn't it? ISN'T IT?? Well, ok it IS an improvement, but let me share a little math with you. If, on average, we save two out of every 100 patients who is in cardiac and respiratory arrest, a 40 percent increase means now we save three. 3-2=1. 1 divided by 3 is about 33 percent. So it's probably more like 3.5. Don't get me wrong. If you're one of the 1.5 people who are saved by these methods, you're happy for the change. My point is this. Don't get caught up in the hype.

Which of course, brings me to the larger topic. What I'm really trying to address is our current administration (Obama) and our newly proposed health care plan. Here's what I think about it. I haven't a clue. Do you know why? I haven't even READ THE BILL! Every day of every week I hear common folk and conservative talk radio on a rampage about the Democrats and Obamacare. I'd like to let you in on a little secret. Most of what you hear is propaganda. Is some of it true? Sure it is. Is ALL of it true? Please. You're smarter than that, right?

I guess what I'm really trying to encourage you to do is, learn before you criticize. It's no different than religion. If you want to argue your religious stance with me, study first. If you want to argue politics and healthcare, study first. Problem is, I haven't studied yet, so give me time. For the love of God, don't assume this bill or that bill or this plan or that plan is bad just because Mark Levin or Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh SAYS it is. That makes you look ignorant. Their job is to make you believe the Republicans have it right. And maybe they do, just don't take their word for it.

If you think I'm wrong, consider when Bush was president. The Democrats were screaming from the rooftops that Bush and his administration was an idiot. Were the Democrats right? Probably no more so than the Republicans are now. The beauty of all this is that it is EXACTLY the way our founding fathers intended it. It's called checks and balances. Two parties duking it out is precisely what keeps us somewhere in the middle.

To be more precise, I don't think there is any way on earth that the new health care plan can be ALL bad. There has to be some good ideas wrapped up in the thousands of pages somewhere. What I wish is what I've always wished. I long for a day when we stop calling it a bad idea in general because it came from a Democrat......or a Republican. I'll bet there is some good stuff in there. And I'll bet the Republicans have some good ideas that might fit too. Maybe we could actually merge the ideas from both sides and come up with a plan that works for everyone. Face it.....Bush had eight years to do it and he didn't get it done.

It's time we stopped calling Obama a liar because he said this or that in his campaign. He's a politician. Please, please, PLEASE tell me you know Bush or even Reagan didn't keep every promise and probably went the opposite direction on a few. It's called politics. It ain't pretty, but in the long run it seems to work. Obama has paid off special interests with tax money. So did Clinton and Bush and Reagan and blah blah blah.

It's time we got off our high horse and worked together. We're still one country, one people. Maybe we should start acting like it. And for crying out loud......read before you get angry. You might actually learn something.

Keep the Change

Last night, shortly before the full moon began to arrive in the eastern sky, I was sitting on my patio at my apartment. Just to the south I saw one of the apartment managers preparing to show an apartment to a young couple. It was hard to tell from the heighth and distance, but they couldn't have been older than 20 or so. Like a flashback that they so eloquently display in movies, I was taken back through my life to when I was that age.

I can remember the excitement of "getting started". I was fresh out of college, married, and had my "eye on the ball". I had the most amazing plan for career, family.............just life in general. I had a plan. You'll laugh, but at one point my goal in life was to own the Interfirst Tower in downtown Dallas. I don't know what you call it now, but it's the one outlined in green neon. Then the most incredible thing happened right in the middle of "getting a new apartment and setting out on my illustrious career"........................change.

I think it's safe to say that almost nothing of my original plan has come to fruition. I don't live where I thought I would. I have a career that didn't even cross my mind as a child. I don't have a yellow house with shutters and a white picket fence. I live in an apartment. I don't have a dog. I DO have two wonderful children, but it's an "extended" family so to speak. I didn't stay married for 50 years. I even had a health scare in my early 40's that truly threatened to REALLY change things.

It's cliche, but the only thing for certain in this life, is that it will change. It may not be tomorrow or next week or even next month, but trust me on this. Change is coming like a mile of locomotives and you can't stop it. The real question is, how are you going to handle it? I was so happy for that young couple yesterday, yet life experience made me want to scream at them to hold on tight because it wasn't always going to be this perfect.

I've handled all my changes in life with varied success. Some were not my fault. Some were entirely my fault. Some I embraced with child-like enthusiasm. Some made me cower in a corner, sleeping, never wanting to come out. In the end, it seems it's always been about acceptance. It's been about accepting the fact that this is how things are right now, this minute. I have very little control over what happens next. The universe seems to align to arrange things to It's will. God's will, if you entertain that concept.

So here's my suggestion. Reflect on your life and take a moment to enjoy all that you've done. If it weren't for all my "changes" there are tons of wonderful things I might never have accomplished. Sure, I'm not a billionaire and I didn't cure cancer or make world peace a reality. But I have saved a life or two, seen the Grand Canyon, taken a great motorcycle trip and helped raise two amazing daughters. Success is what you make it.

Is it divorce? Death of a loved one? Career change? You moving? Fear not. Rejoice in the moment, because it's really all we have to hold on to. Right this minute is all that's guaranteed. Enjoy it.

This too, shall pass.