The Big Bagel: Why I'm Still Not an Atheist

 "Sometimes new questions are more important than new answers." 

~Howard Bloom, The God Problem~

"Prepare to have your mind blown."

~Matthew Leatherwood~

By a show of hands, how many of you believe our existence began with a "Big Bang" roughly 13.73 billion years ago? Good. Good. Ok, now put your hands down. And now, how many of you believe in Creationism, or, a god that in some way created everything? Ok. Ok. Cool. You may put your hands down. 

Now, before you all start arguing, what if I told you, "you're both right." At least, you both could be right. You're going to have to hang in here with me a bit while I explain, but I'm about to attempt to do just that. On the surface, it seems largely a binary choice argued on one side by science; the other side by religion. But we can get there. Keep reading.

If you've read There's Never Been Nothing, you already know of my "struggles" with determining the existence of a higher power; God, if you will. I've labeled myself plenty of things in the last 61 years or so, but Atheist is a place I just couldn't go. Despite so much confusion, study, and soul-searching on my part, the idea that this is all there is has eluded me. Up until now, I haven't been able to take on the Atheist label for two reasons. The first involves how we explain self-awareness. We're all biologically the same, yet I'm only aware of "me." That speaks of soul to me. 

The second, now becoming more clear than ever, is that, at our current level of understanding, we know you can't make something from nothing. Therefore, logically, there's never been nothing. Which in itself, is wholly illogical. There's always been "something." But how? Both those statements make my head hurt. They make both perfect sense, and simultaneously, no sense at all. 

In my continuing quest for answers, I recently picked up a copy of The God Problem, How a Godless Universe Creates, by Howard Bloom. In his book, Bloom "promises" to make a solid argument about how our cosmos came from nothingness. At last, an explanation based on facts that would explain how there could have once been nothing. His suggestion gave me an inkling of hope and a strong dose of skepticism at the same time. This book is 600 pages of very sound physics, both theoretical and scientific, starting with the Babylonians, of how our universe was created and why it continues to exist and communicate, all without the presence of God. 

I'm sorry religious folks, but the science on this one is sound (don't quit reading. I'm getting to your side of the story). Our universe, ever expanding at an exponential rate, was created with a Big Bang roughly 13.73 billion years ago. Since that time, everything from the smallest quark to humans, have been competing in a push/pull level of existence for attention. The law of attraction basically controls everything. Called "Recruitment Strategies," everything from the first bang has been competing for attention. It occurs at every level. Every. Level. Birds do it. Bees do it. Even quarks do it. It's survival of the fittest at the most basic level. So, if you're a scientist, you're on solid ground. This info is without dispute. 

Now for you religious folks. I'm sorry, but your bearded god in the sky and savior-type deity just isn't real. Or is it? I'll be the first to admit, the bearded sky man and savior story just isn't going to do it for me. It's a great story, but I'm not convinced it's in any way factual. But here's the rub. I don't know. And neither do you. Why? Because we weren't there at the "beginning," whenever the hell that was. The fact there's never been nothing suggests there wasn't a beginning. Or was there?

Still hanging in there? Ok, cool. There is now evidence in the world of theoretical physics that our universe was born of a Big "Bagel." Picture a bagel (or donut) with a hole in the middle. Our creation sprang forth from the hole, matter going one direction, anti-matter the other. Now enter a recruitment strategy that suggests gravity pulls these two toward each other on the outside edge of the bagel until they meet. When matter and anti-matter meet, you get a big bang......rinse and repeat.

See where I'm going here? There is simply no way of knowing if our "Big Bang" was the first big bang, or simply one of an infinite series of big bangs which all started from a bagel. We know for a fact, big bangs springing forth new universes are happening all the time with no end in sight. And as it turns out, no beginning in sight either.

It boils down to this. No physicist I've considered or read about, no scientist, biologist, or otherwise brainiac sort, has ever truly addressed or been able to explain what happened BEFORE the Big Bang. The closest I've read in terms of an explanation actually resembles religion. If you can't explain it, make up a fairy tale. In the scientific world, that tale would be that before the Big Bang, there was nothing. But the Big Bang had to come from something, right? And what of this "God Particle" and how critics fear we're close to finding it and shouldn't? Let's be clear. No matter what you call this particle, it isn't "nothing."

It's completely plausible to me, that something "created" this universe almost 14 billion years ago with a bang. But it didn't come from nothing. And those that aver "God just always was," then tell me, where did God come from? They didn't come from nothingness. What all this really means is that from a scientific standpoint, we know we all started with a bang. But we just don't know what happened before that. But it had to be something. That's the extent of our understanding.

So, until someone proves the idea of nothingness, I cling to the idea that "something" is behind this whole thing. And since time and space are both relative to our existence, for all we know, our universe is a dust speck on a flower being carried around by an elephant. We simply cannot know for sure. Without proof otherwise, I'll never be an Atheist. And believe me, I've looked hard.

There's Never Been Nothing

Namaste

Celebrate Anyway

 

“People of our time are losing the power of celebration. Instead of celebrating we seek to be amused or entertained. Celebration is an active state, an act of expressing reverence or appreciation. To be entertained is a passive state--it is to receive pleasure afforded by an amusing act or a spectacle.... Celebration is a confrontation, giving attention to the transcendent meaning of one's actions."

 ~ Abraham Joshua Heschel ~

 

Four years ago, almost exactly to the day, I sat alone on the front porch of a house I had owned for only three months. Prior to that, I lived mostly in a 28' camper and lived the life of a modern-day gypsy. I had no dog, no cats, no wife, and really no true responsibilities. And by mere happenstance, I came upon a house that literally called out to me.  So, here I sat on the porch of this great little house, in basically a strange place, with no real friends or even solid acquaintances. A fireworks show of epic proportions was about to begin, and I was about to witness it alone. To be honest, I was at total peace with that.

Just last night, I sat in a lawn chair in the driveway of that same house, poised for the same fireworks show, surrounded by my wife, family, and great friends. (Our dog and two cats waited in the house. The dog was not in a celebratory mood). Times certainly have changed and I have so very much to be thankful for; so much to.......celebrate!!

Let's be honest. Our little, infantile democratic republic has given us damn little to feel like celebrating about lately. As if a world-wide pandemic wasn't enough, we've had major unrest in the stock market, a tumultuous presidential election complete with an insurrection, and now, SCOTUS is setting us back to the stone age.

Women have lost the right to control their own bodies, EPA guidelines are being struck down, and now things like gay marriage, equal rights, and voting rights are in the cross hairs of the highest court in the land. Oddly, interracial marriage isn't currently being addressed but we all know why. SCOTUS has literally set our country back 50 years or more. It's infuriating. It's unacceptable. It's frightening.

In the last week or so, I've read so many Facebook posts about people not feeling like America deserves a birthday party. People are wearing black instead of red, white, and blue. And you know what? I get it. As adamantly as people chant "'Murica!" at the top of their lungs, "'Murica" ain't so great any more. We lag behind other developed nations (and some underdeveloped) in almost every category; incarcerated persons being the exception. We lag behind in math, science, and reading. Our impoverished are growing more so. Our birth mortality rates are embarrassing. Our health care is ridiculous, and our government is dropping the ball at every turn.

We have many a reason to not celebrate a holiday like the 4th of July. But celebrate we must. Last night I celebrated good friends, a wonderful partner for life, a wonderful home, and a great village. My wife and I are bright blue in a town, county, and state that are bright red. Not all, but many of our friends don't share our same religion or politics, and we're friends anyway. And we celebrate that every chance we get.

Look, I'm not suggesting we just sit on our asses and ignore the decisions that are turning our nation upside down. We must vote, speak up, get involved, and make our voices heard! But it doesn't have to be one or the other. I'm infuriated by the recent SCOTUS decisions. But, last night I celebrated. I have to. I have to find reasons to celebrate.'

Relatively speaking, our country is still in its infancy. 250 years is nothing. We will go through many, many changes. Honestly, I feel there's an excellent chance our capitalist-based economy will crumble before long. Our democracy and our voting rights are already being threatened to the extent actual voting may make no difference at all. The real elite that are running the show are being exposed for the long con they've been playing, but we've let it go so long we'll not likely recover. And that says nothing of the way our climate is changing. That, also, is nearing a tipping point from whence we may not return. It's a dismal state of affairs if that's on what you choose to focus.

Today, I am grateful. Despite the issues, things could be so much worse. So, make your voices heard! And for crying out loud, BE angry! There's about to be a great burst of reform. It is so very hard to find the silver lining in such dark clouds, but find it we must. Do everything in your power to bring about the change you desire. It's going to be difficult and it's going to get darker before we see light.

Celebrate anyway.

Namaste

 

Tick-Tock

 

 

 

"Middle-aged? Good god! I'm not going to live to be 160!"

 

~Norman Thayer, Jr.  On Golden Pond"

 

 

Time: That relentless ticking that we've created from the void to mark our length of existence. It isn't real. It's relative. And yet, we live by it each and every day. 

 

Just last week, my wife and I were returning from Sunday Breakfast with the family, when I spotted a Baltimore Oriole lying on the side of the road. Apparently, struck down by his own unawareness of traffic and misunderstanding of physics, the bird seemed to move just a bit as we drove by, so I pulled over. He was, indeed, dead, but the wind tickled his brilliant feathers to make it appear as though he had movement.

The week before that, we attended the funeral of a man with whom I'd spent countless hours during years as a medic. He was larger than life with a booming voice like Barry White, and he commanded respect. He was a former Navy Seal, 6'4" and 250 pounds. Indestructible, unwavering, and solid as a rock. And dead at only 64 years old. Just like that, found dead in his recliner.

Only a year ago, we celebrated the amazing life of my wife's father. Also larger than life, he was a gifted musician, story teller, and salesman. He lit up a room, even while suffering from Alzheimer's. I knew him only a short time, but the pictures I've seen and the stories I've heard paint a vivid picture of a life lived fully and fearlessly. And now he's physically gone.

My father has been dead nearly 10 years. Like yesterday, I remember playing catch with him during my childhood. I remember backyard tents made of sheets, camping trips, vacations, fishing excursions and being his "little buddy." I remember my dad being 50 years old. I'm now older than that myself by over 11 years.

Look, I've always known there was a clock. For some reason, I've always been able to see the hands in position on the face and I can see the second hand sweeping gently around and around. Relentless and unstoppable. In my mind there has always been the clearest picture of that clock face, and it's always been divided into 4 sections: the first 15 minutes, the second, the third, and the fourth or last 15 minutes. 

I'm sure my wife will gladly attest to the relentless nagging I do about time. I can't help it. I count backwards from when we need to be somewhere, then factor in prep time, travel time, possible flat-tire time, bathroom breaks,  ad infinitum, until I calculate a time to leave. It's annoying, even for me. "It's time to go." "We need to leave in 10 minutes." "We need to get gas"  "Blah, blah, blahbiddy, blah, blah, blah." I can count on one hand the times I've been late for anything my entire life.

Our time in these miracles called a body is fleeting. My children are grown. I already have 4 grandchildren. High school was over 40 years ago. My brother just attended his 50 Year High School Reunion. My father is gone. My mother is 90. I can start drawing Social Security next year and I'll draw Medicare in only 3.5 years. My brain is constantly filled with a lifetime of amazing memories. And they all happened in the blink of an eye. 

I remember turning 25 and thinking, "My god, I've already lived a quarter of a century." But even with that realization, it seemed as though time would go on forever; as if I'd never click over to the next 15 minutes. But time did click over to the next 15 minutes, and to the next. And, assuming I live to be 80 (I'm counting on more), It's already counting down the last quarter of my life on earth.

 

Please understand, I'm not particularly bothered by the fact I'm living in the last quarter, or so. I have no real fear of death or what comes after. But I am fascinated at how fast it has all gone. How did that happen? And what do I want to do with the rest of it? Yes, the clock is ticking. And it seems like it's going faster and faster. I've always known there was a clock. Always. The only difference between 25 and 61 is.....

 

Now I can hear it. 

Namaste

 

Non-Binary Choices

 

"Trans people are extraordinary, strong, intelligent, persistent and resilient. We have to be. And we will not stand for the picking and choosing of rights. We still have hope."

                        ~ Grace Dolan-Sandrino, Interview with the Washington Post, 2017. ~

 

We're such binary people, aren't we? We humans tend to see things in black and white, right or wrong, Democrat or Republican, pro-life or pro-choice, fossil fuels or renewable energy, and yes, male or female. We often refuse to move off our pre-conditioned pillar of thought based on a lifetime of conditioning by parents, friends, teachers, religion, etc. despite scientific evidence to the contrary. Very few things in this life are binary. Most answers to life's questions lie somewhere in the middle of that vast sea of gray.  It's not this or that. It's mostly a little of both, and a lot of neither. 

This reminds me of another quote I read recently. "If you can't find the solution to a problem, perhaps it isn't a problem to be solved. Perhaps it is a situation to be accepted."  And while this may be the most controversial topic I've tried to tackle, I'm going to at least attempt to lead you down a path of alternate thought. But you're going to have to think big. You're going to have to think outside the known galaxy big and pretend there isn't even a box from which to think outside. You're going to have to swim in some gray and swallow some pride. Or not....it's really up to you. Hang in there. We'll get there. This is gonna take a minute.

The University of Nebraska-Lincoln, enjoyed dominance in a number of sports arenas for nearly 50 years during the latter half of the 20th Century. Beginning in 1969, Boyd Epley was hired by coach Bob Devaney to develop a strength and conditioning program. That same year, Epley created the Husker Power, Strength, and Conditioning Program. It was implemented by all sports, and over a 35 year period, was at least partially responsible for 28 national championships and 250 conference championships. This was across the board and included both male and female athletes.

I didn't follow UNL sports other than football, and I'm no expert, but I can tell you this. For decades, team after team came to town knowing exactly the offense Nebraska was going to run. They came prepared to defend. Nebraska ran it anyway...... right over the top of them. Was the opposing team unprepared? Crappy coaches? Nope. Nebraska was stronger, bigger, and faster.

In essence, Boyd Epley largely wrote the book on strength training. And for decades, it made Nebraska a powerhouse in sport after sport. Nebraska didn't win every game or every title, because, let's face it, strength isn't the only chess piece in the game. But you could see the size and strength advantage. Then something odd happened. Other teams caught on. And then other teams started to catch up. Other teams adapted to the superiority exuded by Nebraska athletes and began to grow super-athletes of their own. Parity was coming to college football.

In August of 1996, a young golfer, after winning six USGA National Championships, turned pro. He soon won his first professional tournament in Las Vegas, which earned him a spot in the 1997 Masters, which he won.....by 12 strokes!! If you're not a golfer, it may be hard to fathom what a huge margin that is at Augusta. A virtual newbie outplayed veteran golfers from around the world. He hit the ball off the tee some 50 yards further. He was more accurate and more mentally tough. Courses actually made changes to their layout to level the field against him. He was a phenom and the young Tiger Woods has gone on to win 15 majors and 81 PGA events.....so far. Is he done? I don't know, because that's not the story.

Eventually, you began to see professional golfers playing for second place. It seemed, if Tiger was in the lineup, many golfers looked like they'd conceded. They played for second. And then it started to happen. Golfers got younger. They worked out harder. They practiced longer. They got stronger. Pretty soon, Tiger wasn't driving longer off the tee.  Golfers "evolved," if you will, so they could compete. And they did. 

I realize these examples have been "men against men" or women against women" scenarios, but let's go down the road involving Lia Thomas, shall we? I know. I must be crazy. This is a subject wrought with treachery, but let's give it a shot, anyway. This is the part where your mind is going to have to stretch.... a lot.

Let me begin by saying that I completely understand the frustrations voiced by female athletes who feel they are now forced to compete with biological "men." I was a firefighter for 23 years. I've seen first-hand the differences in upper body strength exhibited by men and women. In most cases........ purely biological males exhibit stronger upper body strength. But it's not true 100% of the time. I used to help with the department's physical agility test, and I can tell you from experience, I've witnessed some very big, strong men quit when they were almost to the end, and seemingly "weaker" females who kept struggling to finish at all costs, even after the clock had run out. I'll take that commitment over strength any day of the week.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, we believed there were only two genders; male and female. But, now we know better. Yes, it's hard to wrap your closed mind around it, but being male or female isn't just XX or XY and there is a spectrum of characteristics in which being male or female adhere. It's not speculation. It's not theory. It's fact. If you really want to just call them like you seem them, there are essentially an endless number of "genders" along a spectrum of chromosomal possibilities. And that, my dear friends, is going to cause some growth....some painful growth, actually. But, like it or not, those are the facts. 

I've often joked with people who I believed wouldn't lock me up, that the human species, assuming we survive long enough (which I truly doubt) is evolving to a level of asexuality. What I actually say is, "Someday, we're just going to be worms." In other words, we'll all be one gender. Now, I suspect that evolutionary process will take thousands, if not millions, of years, but I believe that's where we're going. And I believe the discovery of this spectrum of gender identity is part of the discovery process that will lead us there.

But none of this solves the issue of what we've always believed and how this new discovery seems to create a level of "unfairness" among athletes. Man, that's a hard one. To be fair regarding the argument of fairness, there are very few transgender athletes competing in sports. I don't even pretend to know the answers, but I might suggest this. We have to think bigger. We MUST stop living in this one moment and at least make an attempt to see a much bigger picture; evolution.

Lia Thompson appears to have some biological advantages, but that's not the entire picture. She doesn't win every race she enters. Biological women who are now competing with women who are somewhere else on the gender spectrum will catch up. It may take a generation or two. You have to open your mind to the possibility that women's physiques may start to change. Men's physiques may start to change. It may, over the course of generations, become more and more difficult to tell the difference between a biological man and a biological woman. And that's okay. It's going to be painful as we alter our way of believing, but it'll be okay.

Try to stop seeing solutions as "only this or that." Take a leap of faith, swim out into the gray sea of doubt and make a non-binary choice. Life is gray.

Just calm down.

Namaste

 

Walmart Sucks - A Rant

 

"It takes months to find a customer......seconds to lose one."

~Vince Lombardi~

 

Let me state right from the start, I despise shopping at Walmart. In fact, I only venture in when I can't find what I need anywhere else in the small town where I live. Understandably, going in at all makes me a hypocrite, but sometimes you just do what you gotta do when no one else has what you need. And let's face it, Walmart has a lot of everything. It's generally cheap crap, but they have it nonetheless.

Today, I spent nearly $200 dollars at Walmart picking up items that were out of stock in other local establishments. I don't blame the locally-owned stores. Shipping issues are making things dicey, to say the least. So, I swallowed my pride and ventured in to give money to a conglomerate that talks a big game, but does very little in the way of satisfying their customers or their employees.

As a rule, I refuse to venture through the self checkout isle, especially at times when I have a basket full of items. Today, as my fiance and I stood in the only open isle (20 Items or Less, even), my blood began to uncharacteristically boil. In front of us was a very kind older woman with a basket full of everything from clothes to groceries. She was way over 20 items, but so were we. It was the only isle open, after all, unless one were to cave and self checkout. 

We waited long enough for me to make a trip to the bathroom and for my fiance to go back in search of some Almond Butter. There was still no movement in line. To make matters worse, there were at least 6 Walmart associates milling about the checkout area and not a single other cash register was open to serve customers. The line in our isle grew......and so did the line at the self checkout. I caved. At some point, whether I'm in a hurry or not, my time becomes worth more than being served. That's on me.

Off to the self checkout isle we went, which is where I asked to see a manager. None arrived, but the ladies (there were two assisting with self-checkout, as well as, another young man helping shuttle people through self serve) asked if they could help, so I explained to them why I don't shop at Walmart. They apologized, said they'd pass the message on to the manager, and then, alas!, they opened another register. 

Let me be clear about this. Walmart is a poison. They roll in to small towns promising a stronger tax base and hundreds of jobs, loads of inventory and cheap prices. This business model has made Walmart the largest retailer in the world. But, let's be clear about another thing. These jobs they promise are generally at an hourly wage that nearly insures that most every person they employee, can only afford to shop at......Walmart!!  It's a scam of epic proportions. Meanwhile, huge inventories and lower prices attract people who are only acting on their most basic instinct, as local business after local business begins to close their doors because their low volume virtually guarantees they can't compete with Walmart.

So you don't see me as a total hypocrite, know that I do shop at small local establishments every chance I get. Walmart is absolutely a last resort. I've been known to buy hardware at a local Ace Hardware for twice the price I can find it at Walmart. With very rare exception, we do all our grocery shopping at the local Ray's. Are their prices a little higher? Sure. Is their inventory a little smaller?Absolutely. These are just a couple examples of the many options to shop locally. But know this, both the hardware store and the grocery store have one thing in common.....customer service. As many isles as necessary are always open, and finding someone to help locate an item is a breeze. And while we certainly pinch pennies where we can, supporting local business owners who are trying to send their kids to dance class makes the very small amount we spend worth every penny.

Lest I complain without offering a solution, let me put in my two cent's worth:

1. Shop local. Screw Walmart

2. If you are Walmart, especially a Walmart manager, listen up.

    a. I realize self checkout is theoretically a cost-saving arrangement. In the short term,  maybe.    But in the long run, I truly believe this will cost you customers. I don't work at Walmart.  If you want me to scan and bag my own merchandise, put me on the clock for the amount of time it takes me to bag my own stuff. Any decent computer programmer should be able to figure that one out. Log the time, and take it off my total.

    b. I understand that labor is in short supply, but there's a reason, and it isn't because "the government is paying them to stay home." The sign in your store says you're hiring at a starting wage of $12 per hour. You must be joking. The world's largest retailer is paying employees in Nebraska as little as $12 per hour. That's well below the poverty line. Yeah, yeah. You're concerned about store profit and stock prices. With payroll generally being most any company's biggest expense, you think paying as little as possible helps your bottom line. It doesn't. Not in the long run. You want to see your store prosper? Pay your employees a living wage. Not just barely a living wage, but a wage that allows them to own a home and feed their kids without working 2-3 jobs. What you're doing is criminal.

    c. For christ's sake, open some more registers. I saw no fewer than six associates in the general area of the checkout isles today. You telling me not one of them noticed lines were backing up and another line should be opened....or two?

3. You work for Walmart? It doesn't take a manager to notice a customer need. If you and your manager are feeding off the fact that people will do most anything (like wait a ridiculously long time in line) to save a buck, then shame on you. Make a change. Be the change. I know it's difficult when you're overworked and underpaid the way you are, but it has to start somewhere.

Truly, I could go on for days about why Walmart is bad for small communities, but I won't. Why? Because it likely won't help. We're all programmed in steadfast survival mode, and cheap goods will lure us in every time. As for me? I think I'll travel to Lincoln before I'll set foot in the local Walmart again. I finally learned my lesson. The lack of customer focus is inexcusable. 

Walmart sucks!

Namaste. ;-)

 

 

Don't Even........

 

 

 

 "Comparing them by their faculties of memory, reason, and imagination, it appears to me, that in memory they are equal to the whites; in reason much inferior, as I think one could scarcely be found capable of tracing and comprehending the investigations of Euclid; and that in imagination they are dull, tasteless, and anomalous" 

 

~Thomas Jefferson~

 

 

In 1934, 17 founding members of what would soon become the 3rd Reich, met to begin laying the groundwork for what would become one of the greatest slaughters in the history of mankind. One of them. They pondered ways in which to rid Germany of Jews, gays, and anyone who didn't fit their idea of purity regarding "whiteness." In what soon became Nazi Germany, under the dictatorship of Adolf Hitler, over 6 million Jews were imprisoned and put to death. Another 5 million of "lesser whites" were led to the same fate. They were stripped, shaved, tortured, beaten, starved, shot, and gassed in ovens. They were forced to carry out their own dead before facing their own demise. It's a barbaric notion beyond what you can scarcely imagine. In fact, the United States was so appalled by the happenings in Nazi Germany, we went to war over it after being attacked by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor. Over 400,000 U.S. soldiers paid the ultimate price to put an end to Hitler's reign in Nazi Germany.

But here's the part you may not know. When these 17 founders of the 3rd Reich met to put their plan in to action, they consulted the behaviors, laws, punishments and executions from another country who already had their "democracy" in place; The United States of America.

That's right. Before Nazi Germany was even Nazi Germany, the founders of the 3rd Reich studied the blueprint of white supremacy in America. Most interesting to them were the Jim Crow Laws of the South. And they followed our lead save one concept. They thought our torturous ways and executions for non-whites was too brutal. It's, in part, why they opted for gas chambers as a more humane way to slaughter millions. Remember, this was after slavery was legally abolished. We fought a war on our own soil over that one.

Since any true numbers of European whites began coming ashore on our eastern coast, bringing with them the first 20 African-American slaves, we have been setting in place a system of white supremacy that still exists today. Since arriving in the New World, whites have slaughtered over 56 million indigenous people from coast to coast, wiping out over ninety percent of Native Americans. Those we didn't kill, we relocated at gunpoint to vast wastelands of nothingness. 

In addition, as if the invasion and slaughtering of indigenous people wasn't enough, White people from Europe brought with them roughly 3.5 million African-American slaves to build their empire. 3,500,000 people!!!!  African slaves were treated as property and wealth was measured in part by their ownership. Not unlike in Nazi Germany, these slaves were whipped, starved, tortured, beaten, raped, made to work unfathomably long days on almost no food, and the list goes on and on.

But not to worry, we fought a war over slavery and the north won! In 1865, slaves were given their "freedom." You know what changed? Nothing. New laws on the books made it impossible for previously enslaved people to vote, work anything other than menial jobs that paid little more than nothing, marry outside their race, misspeak to a white person, not step off a sidewalk, or do most anything white men thought was outside their "place." For infractions of any of these things and many more, Black Americans were beaten, imprisoned, or more often than not, lynched in public hangings with no trial. Families were ripped apart and white Americans continued to make it nearly impossible for Black Americans to get any kind of foothold. They were considered inferior. 

If you think things are better today, you'd only be partly right. Sure, the public brutality has mostly ceased, but the attempts at keeping non-white people from succeeding at anything still goes on today, especially in the southern states. And this doesn't even begin to touch the injustices done to immigrants and women. It's shameful. It's beyond shameful. It's disgusting. It's inhumane. Hell, one of those founding fathers you're so proud of, Thomas Jefferson? A slave owner, as were most of the others. Even our "beloved" Benjamin Franklin spoke of white purity. Our founding fathers didn't build a land of the free. They built a land of the free for white men.

 

Of course, you can always defend your stance on white supremacy with the Bible, citing references to Noah's son Ham and a lesser race. But I'd just send you down the road to the Crusades where estimates range anywhere from one million to nine million killed in the name of Christianity over two centuries. You know, just like Jesus would do.

 

And this, my friends (or likely some former friends) brings me to the importance of Critical Race Theory. You think your kids can't handle the truth? If we have any chance of ever putting the hierarchy of race and importance and equality to rest in the favor of only white people, especially men, then our kids have to know the truth about our history. They have to know we were no better than the Nazis in those days. They have to know all man is created equal. They have to believe in their soul that it wasn't just a black man that rose to be president, but a man. A wonderfully qualified man and skin pigmentation has no influence. It will take generations, but we have to start now before we're back at war over which skin tone is superior. We are all equal. Period.

 

I am becoming less and less proud of flying the American flag. The more I learn about our true history, the more my heart hurts. As for your flag......if you fly a Nazi or Confederate flag for all to see, then you and I are done. It's all I really need to know about you. If your argument for flying your Confederate flag is that you're just proud of your southern heritage, all the more so. How can any human being be proud of the torture and hate represented by that flag? You just think it looks cool? Well, now you know better. Take it down.

If you scream at me about our self-righteous freedom and fly a Nazi or Confederate flag in my face, please.....

Don't even.

 

 

 

 

Ironic Much?

 

“Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven.” —Douglas Horton 

 Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back into its place. For all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?” 

-Matthew 2652-54

 

If you're the one who read my book, There's Never Been Nothing, then you've already heard the story of my walk in the woods and the sign I came across randomly hanging from a lone tree in a remote area.

I was entering my senior year of university and had just finished a day of training at a camp aimed at training several of us to be Student Assistants at dorms across campus. After a full day of close contact with other young folks from all walks of life, this introvert needed some alone time. As I walked alone through the woods near the cabins where we stayed, I, quite literally, stumbled across a sign hanging randomly from a tree along the path. "Be still, and know that I am God" was the simple message.  

At that moment, it was exactly what I needed to see, and to be still for a moment is exactly what I did.  I had no actual concept of "God" at that time, but the message and connection was clear to me. I felt nearer to whatever greater energy exists beyond my human existence than at any other time in my life. It was, well, magical.

As spelled out in agonizing detail in There's Never Been Nothing, the journey has been long for me. I wouldn't change it for anything. And no, I'm not a Christian. Nor am I Buddhist, Muslim, Atheist, or even agnostic. And yet, I feel a strong connection to a power greater than myself.

Along this winding path of spiritual searching, I have actually read the Bible from cover to cover. I've taken small stabs at Buddhism, Hinduism, etc, and have sought the council of those more learned than myself. I've challenged my belief system at every step. Having done all that, the message delivered on the billboard shown above, as well as, messages with a similar target continue to puzzle me.

Regardless of the religion I've studied (especially Christianity), I've found the message to be fairly constant at its core. Love. Love is the message.  Beyond that, Christianity especially teaches us that God is in control. God is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniwhatever. God is in control. "I got this," I can hear him/her/it/they say. 

At it's core, I have no great issue with the message from the billboard. If you take each item separately, we can, at least, have a conversation about content. Worship "God" (whatever that word means to you), then cool. If you find peace in that endeavor, then I'm happy for you. It has no part in government, but that's another discussion for another time.

Love/want/need guns? Ok. I'm good with that. I own several myself. All were obtained legally through required processes at the time. It was easy. The 2nd Amendment, misunderstood as it may be, gives Americans the right to bear arms. It gives us that right for an entirely different reason than you've been brainwashed to believe, but whatever. Buy it. Keep it. Stock up on ammunition. Do it legally and responsibly and we're rock solid.

Family? Well, there's a no-brainer! Of course family is important. And standing united strengthens us all. I have no doubt the posters of this billboard had nothing but encouragement and inspiration in mind when they carefully placed the letters for all to see. But, they're wrong. They're dead wrong. 

For starters, please tell me you're not placing guns above family on your list of priorities. And if you think Jesus, the main character at the core of your belief system (I happen to know these folks are active in their local church), would favor this national obsession with guns, then you seriously need to pull out your bible and read it...... all of it. I'd especially have you read the New Testament and get to know your Jesus on a personal level. You simply cannot reconcile an obsession with guns and a man like Jesus. If you can, you've completely missed the message.

But let's forget about Jesus for the moment and talk about the all-powerful, vengeful god of the Old Testament. That's the part where you extract, through a process of spiritual cherry-picking, things like "an eye for an eye." Just as clear as Jesus' message of love, is his dad's message of, "I got this."

Let me put it this way. If you walk around with a gun strapped to your waist or slung over your shoulder (law enforcement and military excluded), then you lack faith in the god you worship. It's painfully clear. If you want to harbor a particular system of belief, especially if you want to try selling it to me, then you better come forward with evidence you've read the manual you profess to follow. This is a topic I've covered on more than one occasion.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't take the conservative irony a step further. At the risk of overgeneralizing......if you think you must tote a gun to protect yourself because God won't, but won't get a vaccine or wear a mask to protect yourself and others because God will, then I simply have no words for you. You can't possibly take this stance and sell me some bill of goods about how you love Jesus and think God will protect you. 

It boils down to this. If your belief system is that God is in control, then leave your guns at home and don't wear a mask.  If you're not convinced, then,  by all means, strap on your 9mm. But........ you have to wear a mask. You can't have it both ways.

God, Guns, then Family? Your ignorance is showing. And to be honest, you scare me a little.

 

Namaste,

Matt